i'm fundamentally and pathologically afraid that people mean more to me than i do to them.

how do you remedy that? ask? what if it's true? and "at least you know" is cold fucking comfort and complete bullshit.

nobody is sitting home alone on a Saturday night, wrapped up in throw, nursing a bottle of wine...with a pint of Ben & Jerry's waiting in the wings...watching The Notebook, thinking, "Boy, I sure am glad I know."

fuck that.