i had this dream last night that i was about to set my apartment on fire. i had put a strand of spaghetti on the burner and turned it on hi. i sat there for a minute watching the fire spread to my curtains. i went into the other room and heard my IM go off. it was Ryan. i walked over to see what he said and it read something like, "i'm so glad you're around. you're the only person who makes me feel better." or something like that. so, there i am standing in the middle of the room with my life burning down around me rethinking the whole thing. i went back into the kitchen, put the fire out, and sat down to chat.

that was really weird. i'm not suicidal...though this dream may suggest otherwise. things suck right now, but i know what the overwhelming drive to die feels like. i know what looking at a straight razor through tear blurred eyes rationalizing to yourself that nothing can hurt more than this is like. i'm not that. this sucks balls, to be sure, but even in my darkest moment i don't feel like that.

it was just a strange dream. is spaghetti even flammable?