i'm just a girl in the world
i'm a complicated girl. anyone who knows me can attest to that. i can be damn near impossible to read, but sometimes things are written right on my face. what can i say? i like to keep things interesting. the number one internal conflict i have...well, maybe number 6...is country v. city girl.
i once told a friend of mine that i wanted to move to NYC. he was from brooklyn and told me that i'd never survive. i was sort of offended. i'm a well travelled girl, and i'm not done yet. sure, i'm from Missouri. sure, i'm from the suburbs and lived a comfortable life with my acre of back yard and a cow pasture up the street. so what if my elementary school was called Two Mile Prairie...because there was actual prairies surrounding it...and the school mascot was a groundhog. our principal would bring his horses at the end of every year and we'd have a country western bbq on the schools extensive grounds. i've lived a good life, but i've certainly gotten out there and seen some shit. i have one of the most insane cases of wanderlust known to man.
so, when my friend said that i thought, "what? i've lived outside of the US twice, both for 6 months, one of those times i was alone. i backpacked for two weeks around Turkey, Italy and Greece alone. i've been all over the US. i've moved more times than i can count, to new towns, with new people, knowing no one there when i moved. i think i can handle fucking NYC." about a year or two later i realized he was right, sort of. it's not that i couldn't handle NYC, i just wouldn't want to. i have these moments where the country girl in me comes screaming out. she never screams louder than when i'm in the city. i need space. i need quiet. ideally, i'd like to live in a house on my family's property in upstate NY. the nearest town is 5 miles away and has a population of 200. the only problem with that plan is my friends. secluded in the mountains, walking through the woods and listening to nature is all well and good, but anyone who's spent a fri. night with me knows that this girls loves to laugh and loves her liquor. but i digress. so, i understood that NYC is just too much. i feel real country mouse there and the constant congestion of people and buildings and cars would be too much for me to take. that is why i decided that my next move will be to New Haven. one of my closest friends lives there, there are lots of parks and greenery to soothe my midwestern heart, and i'm a 2 hour train ride from the city.
which brings me to the point of this blog. i went to go see Batman Begins with my brother last night. i didn't want to drive, because driving in NYC, while exciting in that base jumping sort of way, is fun, but is only really worth the stress if you're shopping or going to be there for a few days. a night is not nearly worth all of the construction on 95. so, i figured my girl lives in New Haven. she can drop me off and pick me up and i'll leave my car at her house. cool. enter crazy country girl. in all of my travels, i've never ridden a train before alone. i did in Italy, but i was fully aware i had no idea where i was going and all of my shit with me, so it was an adventure. this time, i was on a bit of a schedule and, as much as i can figure lots of travel things out on my own, NYC is a beast i'm not nearly ready to tackle.
so, my girl drops me off and i'm all kinds of confused. before i get into that, i think it's important to know how deep the country mouse had run. in my backpack, i packed some cheez-its, an apple, and bottle of water in case i got hungry. Erica laughed at me like i had it in a handkerchief slung over my shoulder on a stick. i was also very confused. i didn't know where the tracks were. i didn't know...anything. i was so out of sorts, i asked her to come with me to the platform to make sure i got there o.k. she laughed at me the entire time. the thing is that in most areas of my life i'm either completely apathetic, or very decisive. i'm not a girl with lots of grey area and i'm not wishy-washy. the number on thing that throws me is menus. i don't know why, they just do. the train is now my number two. i tried to remember that millions of people far dumber than i have taken the train into Grand Central, so, really, how hard could it be? that didn't work. after Erica told me three times that i was at the right train, i was still so uncertain that she walked me up, like a child, to the conductor and confirmed it with him. she was getting a kick out this.
even if i don't know where i'm going, exactly, i can usually fake it. once i got into the middle of Grand Central Station i came to a complete hault. i was so overwhelmed it was ridiculous. so many corridors and people and noises. it was crazy talk. so, i stood there. took a look around and didn't move until i was certain where i was going. i made it to my brother's office o.k. it was just so silly. of course, once i did it, it was no big deal and there was no reason for me to be freaking out like i did, but whatever.
those moments don't happen very often. i was able to navigate the streets of Istanbul to find the boat that would take my to the Asian part of the city, but i had problems with the Metro North train to NYC. what can i say? i'm a mystery.
i once told a friend of mine that i wanted to move to NYC. he was from brooklyn and told me that i'd never survive. i was sort of offended. i'm a well travelled girl, and i'm not done yet. sure, i'm from Missouri. sure, i'm from the suburbs and lived a comfortable life with my acre of back yard and a cow pasture up the street. so what if my elementary school was called Two Mile Prairie...because there was actual prairies surrounding it...and the school mascot was a groundhog. our principal would bring his horses at the end of every year and we'd have a country western bbq on the schools extensive grounds. i've lived a good life, but i've certainly gotten out there and seen some shit. i have one of the most insane cases of wanderlust known to man.
so, when my friend said that i thought, "what? i've lived outside of the US twice, both for 6 months, one of those times i was alone. i backpacked for two weeks around Turkey, Italy and Greece alone. i've been all over the US. i've moved more times than i can count, to new towns, with new people, knowing no one there when i moved. i think i can handle fucking NYC." about a year or two later i realized he was right, sort of. it's not that i couldn't handle NYC, i just wouldn't want to. i have these moments where the country girl in me comes screaming out. she never screams louder than when i'm in the city. i need space. i need quiet. ideally, i'd like to live in a house on my family's property in upstate NY. the nearest town is 5 miles away and has a population of 200. the only problem with that plan is my friends. secluded in the mountains, walking through the woods and listening to nature is all well and good, but anyone who's spent a fri. night with me knows that this girls loves to laugh and loves her liquor. but i digress. so, i understood that NYC is just too much. i feel real country mouse there and the constant congestion of people and buildings and cars would be too much for me to take. that is why i decided that my next move will be to New Haven. one of my closest friends lives there, there are lots of parks and greenery to soothe my midwestern heart, and i'm a 2 hour train ride from the city.
which brings me to the point of this blog. i went to go see Batman Begins with my brother last night. i didn't want to drive, because driving in NYC, while exciting in that base jumping sort of way, is fun, but is only really worth the stress if you're shopping or going to be there for a few days. a night is not nearly worth all of the construction on 95. so, i figured my girl lives in New Haven. she can drop me off and pick me up and i'll leave my car at her house. cool. enter crazy country girl. in all of my travels, i've never ridden a train before alone. i did in Italy, but i was fully aware i had no idea where i was going and all of my shit with me, so it was an adventure. this time, i was on a bit of a schedule and, as much as i can figure lots of travel things out on my own, NYC is a beast i'm not nearly ready to tackle.
so, my girl drops me off and i'm all kinds of confused. before i get into that, i think it's important to know how deep the country mouse had run. in my backpack, i packed some cheez-its, an apple, and bottle of water in case i got hungry. Erica laughed at me like i had it in a handkerchief slung over my shoulder on a stick. i was also very confused. i didn't know where the tracks were. i didn't know...anything. i was so out of sorts, i asked her to come with me to the platform to make sure i got there o.k. she laughed at me the entire time. the thing is that in most areas of my life i'm either completely apathetic, or very decisive. i'm not a girl with lots of grey area and i'm not wishy-washy. the number on thing that throws me is menus. i don't know why, they just do. the train is now my number two. i tried to remember that millions of people far dumber than i have taken the train into Grand Central, so, really, how hard could it be? that didn't work. after Erica told me three times that i was at the right train, i was still so uncertain that she walked me up, like a child, to the conductor and confirmed it with him. she was getting a kick out this.
even if i don't know where i'm going, exactly, i can usually fake it. once i got into the middle of Grand Central Station i came to a complete hault. i was so overwhelmed it was ridiculous. so many corridors and people and noises. it was crazy talk. so, i stood there. took a look around and didn't move until i was certain where i was going. i made it to my brother's office o.k. it was just so silly. of course, once i did it, it was no big deal and there was no reason for me to be freaking out like i did, but whatever.
those moments don't happen very often. i was able to navigate the streets of Istanbul to find the boat that would take my to the Asian part of the city, but i had problems with the Metro North train to NYC. what can i say? i'm a mystery.
posted by badassed at
11:09 PM
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