really?

i was having a conversation with someone and we were discussing people who feel compelled to share the most inane or innocuous things with us. people who are not really good friends with you who call you up to read you a movie review or something. that's my friend. granted we've been friends for a very long time. she works as a receptionist at a clinic, so she just sits there all day in front of a computer. i don't even know where she finds these things to send me, but almost every email message i get from her is a forward. i really don't like forwards. she used to send me really smutty things, but that is not my humor. she would send dirty jokes...bad dirty jokes... and series of pictures that, whether by chance or intention, would say things like,"balls," or "clit." yea, not so much. i told her if she kept doing it that i'd block her. so, i blocked her.

she's stopped with the smut and has moved onto jokes, anecdotes, friend surveys, emotional blackmail pleas ( my kid has leukemia and everytime you forward this email 10 cents will go to his hospital bill) and lists. the woman loves lists. 5 reasons for this, 10 ways to know that. she's all about them. in all fairness, she did stop the smut, and she is bored at work a lot. here is her latest one. seriously, this thing took up space in my inbox. let's be a little more judicious with your forwarding choices in the future please, folks.

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweettime:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when theyaren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' inhousewares......and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'llinvite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can'tyou people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick yournose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if heknows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from"Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using differentsize funnels.
13.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!""PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetalposition and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least ... THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE.....

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"

can anyone tell me which part hurt my feelings the most? yup, the separation, capitalization, and bolding of her "favorite" one. yeesh.