the employment of reason at this point would be well advised.
the employment of logical deduction would behoove you, as well. so, my ex talked to me yesterday. it was weird. he was trying to be casual about it, like we, i don't know, talk at all. i was minding my own business and he turns to me and shows me this book about cures for hangovers. i was literally stunned. i wasn't mad or sad or any actual emotion other than perplexed. it would be like one day i call my mom and the cat answers the phone, but in that Brian kind of way. the actual encounter wouldn't incur an overwhelming emotion, you'd just be confused. so, that was what happened. i looked at him and said, "i don't get hangovers. i guess that's God's little gift to me." he said something like he didn't either, but the whole time i'm thinking, "what is this? why are you talking to me?" i mean, he can't possibly think that we'll be even remotely friendly ever again in life. i haven't the patience for this. well, that's not true. i certainly don't have the will to entertain it. i gave him his chance and he got flip with me. i hope he didn't think he could earn or wrangle another chance out of me. i'm a not a very forgiving person. he should bloody well know that by now.
the only thing i can think of is that he heard my boss had a job interview. now, my ex, for all intent and purposes, is sort of next in line for that job. that would leave me working my entire shift across from a man i don't like making eye contact with. now, knowing that the position may be opening up and the fact that i'm the only other person back there, it's sort of important to have me on your side. i told management that:1. i will never want that job and 2. i'd better have a say as to who my next boss is. i'm tired of carrying everything. so, i honestly think that my ex attempted to talk to me to see where i stood and whether or not i'd approve of him being my manager.
and for that i have one thing to say: you must be joking.
i say this for a couple of reasons. first of all, it would King Putz of the land of the Putzs for him to try to make nice with me and try to smooth over things he wasn't willing to before for a job that would have him opposite of me. all of a sudden he's willing to talk and try to rebuild something that has, quite clearly, burned down to the ground for the sake of buttering me up for a job he wants. i think what my dear ex forgets is that any point in my time in MA i can very easily get him fired. so very and irrevocably fired. that was why his ass was begging me on the phone to allow him to handle everything...which he then proceeded to do nothing of which i asked of him... and was, what?, surprised i didn't want to have anything to do with him? talk about taking being obtuse to an unprecedented level.
secondly, though he is a good worker and would do a good job, why would he think that i'd grant him anything beneficial to his livelihood? i'll cockblock this shit on general principle. because i fucking can.
the recurring theme in our arguments was concession. i had conceded so much, and tolerated way more than i should have and he had done almost nothing. neither had his girlfriend. all i asked was to keep themselves and their relationship away from me. i had sucked up so much and that was all i asked. sure it sucks. sure it means that someone else, aside from her, comes to the back for things. sure, it means that when you see me coming you go the other way or keep an appropriate distance. since none of this was my fault, i didn't think that that was too much to ask. so, what happens? she comes back all of the time and they make no effort, whatsoever, to respect me or my feelings. now, i can certainly understand not wanting your ex to dictate the terms of your relationship with your new girlfriend, but you know what? you fucked up. he tried so hard to convince me that he didn't mean to hurt me and that he'd do everything he could to make this right with me. all i asked for was consideration, respect, and distance. those bastards are 0 for 3. why, exactly, should i help him? right.
now, i could be completely wrong about this job thing and would love nothing more to be proven wrong. it would be a refreshing change of pace for him to stop being a selfish dick and really encourage that nice, considerate man i let in my bed out. i try to believe in the perfectibility of man and the inherent good in people. he's disproving my beliefs all over the place. i don't think i'm wrong about this job thing. i hope i am, but i don't think so.
my brain still reels from how completely off the mark i was with him. i've made some bad calls before, but this is the emotionally retarded gift that keeps on giving.
so, my friend is having a birthday party tomorrow. now, we all know each other, but she and i are clearly very close. so, this other girl (who i try so hard to like, but can't) asked my ex if he was going to her party. my friend, of course, hadn't told him. he implied that his feelings were hurt for not being invited. again, i ask, is he joking?
we'll disregard the sense of entitlement that runs rampant around here. i've made my annoyance on that type of mentality perfectly clear.
everytime people got together and invited him out he'd almost never show up. when he did, he'd only stay for an hour or two. when that's your m.o., people stop inviting you. why should they? if all you ever say is no, why ask? more importantly, though, why would you possibly think you'd be invited. i hate to pull the "cool kid" card, but i think i have to. she and i are close. obviously, i've told her about everything. why would she invite someone that would almost certainly ruin my night? i don't give a shit how long they've known each other. the fact is that she and i are closer and she will always side with me.
now, i've never been one to make people choose between friends. i told her to invite him if she wanted. i'd show up either way. i'm not going to let his bitch ass keep from doing anything. it's just so ridiculous. i'm clearly closer to everyone, at least 25+. why on earth would he imagine that they'd include him in anything after the way he's treated me? my friends don't like what he did and, clearly, don't want him around. it was extremely shortsighted on his part to imagine that he'd escape from this unscathed. he made his choice. not even concerning girlfriends, but he made his decision concerning his social life once he treated me so horribly. again, i'd never tell anyone to not invite him, but, truth be told, no one wants to be around someone who has treated their friend so callously.
even though i hate it up here and want to leave and don't feel overwhelmingly close to many people here, i'm very loyal. loyalty inspires loyalty in return. i may be stand-offish and difficult to know, but you can always count on me for support. i just don't hang out much. that integrity makes all of the difference. he lacks it. the sad thing is that he doesn't know it.
a long time ago, my ex and i had a discussion about the word "friendship." it was clear that we have completely opposite ideas as to what that word means. his "friends" only call when they need something. his "boys" once had a party and either didn't tell him or had it on a night they knew he worked. those are not friends. my definition of friendship is very strict and there are people i've known for years who haven't made the cut. the number one requirement i have for my friends is loyalty. my friends don't play me out. my friends don't disregard me. more importantly, an infraction on one is an infraction on all. my girl and i are so protective of each other...even when we're fighting and can't stand each other. i get it because i give it. no one treats my friends with anything other than respect. no one looks at them sideways or come out of pocket with them. up here, it's not that intense, but the idea is still there. i don't expect anyone to ride or die with me, but i know who my friends are and who aren't. i have, maybe, three.
unfortunately for my ex, Sarah is #1 of the three.
the only thing i can think of is that he heard my boss had a job interview. now, my ex, for all intent and purposes, is sort of next in line for that job. that would leave me working my entire shift across from a man i don't like making eye contact with. now, knowing that the position may be opening up and the fact that i'm the only other person back there, it's sort of important to have me on your side. i told management that:1. i will never want that job and 2. i'd better have a say as to who my next boss is. i'm tired of carrying everything. so, i honestly think that my ex attempted to talk to me to see where i stood and whether or not i'd approve of him being my manager.
and for that i have one thing to say: you must be joking.
i say this for a couple of reasons. first of all, it would King Putz of the land of the Putzs for him to try to make nice with me and try to smooth over things he wasn't willing to before for a job that would have him opposite of me. all of a sudden he's willing to talk and try to rebuild something that has, quite clearly, burned down to the ground for the sake of buttering me up for a job he wants. i think what my dear ex forgets is that any point in my time in MA i can very easily get him fired. so very and irrevocably fired. that was why his ass was begging me on the phone to allow him to handle everything...which he then proceeded to do nothing of which i asked of him... and was, what?, surprised i didn't want to have anything to do with him? talk about taking being obtuse to an unprecedented level.
secondly, though he is a good worker and would do a good job, why would he think that i'd grant him anything beneficial to his livelihood? i'll cockblock this shit on general principle. because i fucking can.
the recurring theme in our arguments was concession. i had conceded so much, and tolerated way more than i should have and he had done almost nothing. neither had his girlfriend. all i asked was to keep themselves and their relationship away from me. i had sucked up so much and that was all i asked. sure it sucks. sure it means that someone else, aside from her, comes to the back for things. sure, it means that when you see me coming you go the other way or keep an appropriate distance. since none of this was my fault, i didn't think that that was too much to ask. so, what happens? she comes back all of the time and they make no effort, whatsoever, to respect me or my feelings. now, i can certainly understand not wanting your ex to dictate the terms of your relationship with your new girlfriend, but you know what? you fucked up. he tried so hard to convince me that he didn't mean to hurt me and that he'd do everything he could to make this right with me. all i asked for was consideration, respect, and distance. those bastards are 0 for 3. why, exactly, should i help him? right.
now, i could be completely wrong about this job thing and would love nothing more to be proven wrong. it would be a refreshing change of pace for him to stop being a selfish dick and really encourage that nice, considerate man i let in my bed out. i try to believe in the perfectibility of man and the inherent good in people. he's disproving my beliefs all over the place. i don't think i'm wrong about this job thing. i hope i am, but i don't think so.
my brain still reels from how completely off the mark i was with him. i've made some bad calls before, but this is the emotionally retarded gift that keeps on giving.
so, my friend is having a birthday party tomorrow. now, we all know each other, but she and i are clearly very close. so, this other girl (who i try so hard to like, but can't) asked my ex if he was going to her party. my friend, of course, hadn't told him. he implied that his feelings were hurt for not being invited. again, i ask, is he joking?
we'll disregard the sense of entitlement that runs rampant around here. i've made my annoyance on that type of mentality perfectly clear.
everytime people got together and invited him out he'd almost never show up. when he did, he'd only stay for an hour or two. when that's your m.o., people stop inviting you. why should they? if all you ever say is no, why ask? more importantly, though, why would you possibly think you'd be invited. i hate to pull the "cool kid" card, but i think i have to. she and i are close. obviously, i've told her about everything. why would she invite someone that would almost certainly ruin my night? i don't give a shit how long they've known each other. the fact is that she and i are closer and she will always side with me.
now, i've never been one to make people choose between friends. i told her to invite him if she wanted. i'd show up either way. i'm not going to let his bitch ass keep from doing anything. it's just so ridiculous. i'm clearly closer to everyone, at least 25+. why on earth would he imagine that they'd include him in anything after the way he's treated me? my friends don't like what he did and, clearly, don't want him around. it was extremely shortsighted on his part to imagine that he'd escape from this unscathed. he made his choice. not even concerning girlfriends, but he made his decision concerning his social life once he treated me so horribly. again, i'd never tell anyone to not invite him, but, truth be told, no one wants to be around someone who has treated their friend so callously.
even though i hate it up here and want to leave and don't feel overwhelmingly close to many people here, i'm very loyal. loyalty inspires loyalty in return. i may be stand-offish and difficult to know, but you can always count on me for support. i just don't hang out much. that integrity makes all of the difference. he lacks it. the sad thing is that he doesn't know it.
a long time ago, my ex and i had a discussion about the word "friendship." it was clear that we have completely opposite ideas as to what that word means. his "friends" only call when they need something. his "boys" once had a party and either didn't tell him or had it on a night they knew he worked. those are not friends. my definition of friendship is very strict and there are people i've known for years who haven't made the cut. the number one requirement i have for my friends is loyalty. my friends don't play me out. my friends don't disregard me. more importantly, an infraction on one is an infraction on all. my girl and i are so protective of each other...even when we're fighting and can't stand each other. i get it because i give it. no one treats my friends with anything other than respect. no one looks at them sideways or come out of pocket with them. up here, it's not that intense, but the idea is still there. i don't expect anyone to ride or die with me, but i know who my friends are and who aren't. i have, maybe, three.
unfortunately for my ex, Sarah is #1 of the three.
posted by badassed at
3:52 AM
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