ah, reality, you bastard.

my brain believes things it knows are not true. it sees things that aren't there. it twists and distorts words and actions to mold them into something that's not real. i know that. things that wonderful and perfect do not happen to people like me. i've always known that. i guess, just for a little while, i wanted to believe in something good...something extraodinary.

it's sad when you know that you'll never have the one thing you want...not surprising, but sad.