Josh Primm

my high school reunion is coming up and i'm so not going. i didn't run away from home just to willingly walk back to the people i loathe on account of tradition. fuck that...unless Josh Primm is there. there never was a more beautiful man on this earth. the best part is that we were friends, so while other girls stood in awe, we hung out. he came from Seattle, i think, in 9th grade--right when Pearl Jam was getting huge--and he totally had that Eddie Vedder grunge hair-tucked-behind-his-ear-thing going on. there wasn't anything really striking about him. he wasn't this uber muscular, class president jock or anything. he was creative and an amazing artist, but mostly he was just really chill; not to mention adorable. everyone has that person that neither time nor tribulation can diminish from their memory. mine is Josh.

bit of back story: in high school, our mascot was the Kewpie doll. yes, i'm serious. we were little, flying, naked babies. how scary were we at football games? actually, we were good, i think it made the guys feel a little emasculated, so they overcompensated with skillz.

i wrote to Sarah that there was no way i was going to this reunion unless Josh's name was no longer on the "Lost Kewpie" list. if Josh is going, count me in. Sarah wrote me back as said, "I am in agreement about boycotting the reunion unless 30% of our hot Kewpie men are returned safe and sound to us, and since Josh Primm counts as 25% of that 30%, I don't see it happening."

though time and circumstances have drastically changed me since high school -- not to mention, my heart resides solely with another man-- nothing can shake Josh from that little padlocked corner of my heart that belongs to and adores only him. Sarah and i are going to be little 84 yr old ladies rocking in our chairs, between our afternoon naps and canasta, still lusting over Josh.