i've got plans

i've decided, in light of the discovery that i'm going to be a bride's maid at my brothers' wedding, which is in 4 months, that i might want to get my ass in gear. there are a number of things that need to be modified before i stand before God and my scrutinizing relatives to bear witness to this most joyous of occasions. the first things are my dark, mysterious, yet, slighty unruly eyebrows. the inside of the left one dons a punker-esk pike and the ends of both of them are...well, ridiculous. then i decided that i might want to go to the gym. i, personally, think i'm adorable... not ideal, but i have my good points. i just figured that perhaps, cute though i may be, that i could stand to have a little less of me be so cute. you're welcome ladies. i'm not going to do one of those crazy crash course diets, primarily because i lack a whole heeping helping of will power. i can tone down some things and make better decisions, but there's no way i'm going to see a movie and not have my reese's pieces. there, i said. however, i could eat, you know, fruit instead of chocolate. i could make a sandwhich instead of wolfing down my second bagel of the day for lunch knowing full well that it'll satiate me for a little over two hours.

the major thing is the gym. i have a membership. i've had a membership for months. do i use it? now, why whould i want to do such a fool things as using something that i pay for? pussies. today, however, i picked up a class schedule. i figured that to be relatively close to where i want by late september i'm going to have to hit the gym like i'm the next Lara Croft. this shit is going to be crazy. i do have two pluses on my side. one, when i lived overseas i did it in 6 months. the second, it's coming up on summer and i am nothing if not swimming. so, i'll naturally want to spend every non-working, and now non-gyming, hour in the water. that'll help.

i imagine the only thing about that's actually going to suck is the cooking. i can cook. some things rather well. i just don't like it. i'm single. i live alone. every goddamn recipe makes servings of 4+. there're lots of leftovers and i'm not one to eat the same thing everyday. i'd just as soon fast. so, that's the down side. i guess, to sort of alleviate that is that fact that my friend is all brokedown and fucked up. he needs a job. he needs to get his shit together...but he also needs food and he likes my cooking. so, there's my culinary silver lining.

come to think of it, perhaps after all of this...if things go well...i may start looking for a boyfriend. so far, with the men i'm around, i've been less than inspired. i tend to like my men with...oh, wait, what are they called? um, oh, right...balls. i like to know that there's more testosterone running around in there than just enough to put hair on their chest. this place is slowing sucking my soul out of my eyeballs. maybe it'll be less painful if i can actually find someone as silly, irreverent, and interesting as...me. am i asking for too much for a guy to have presence and charm? perhaps, yes.