Mufasa
i'm not kidding. that's his name. this guy is a joke. i met him about a year ago. i kept seeing him around my neighborhood and he was really cute. one day we talked and i invited him over. this is where the fun began. it must have been 4pm or so. i asked him if he wanted something to drink. i had water, juice, soda, and, jokingly said, raspberry twist vodka. he chose the vodka. not only did he choose the vodka, but he chose a glass of it. not some type of short bar glass, either. i'm talking i drink milk out of that size glass, and i love milk. so, we're hanging out, listening to music and we were talking about our favorite songs. his favorite song of all time was Sean Paul's "I'm Still In Love With You." now, i'm not saying that wasn't true. generally, though, peoples' favorite songs have meant something to them for a very long time. Sean Paul was hot last summer. hey, that's cool, if that's your favorite song then that's your favorite song.
he said he was a poet. i doubt that. at one point, there was song playing and he tried to free-style a poem.
[here's a question for guys:why do you do things that make us have to save your face? you really should have a general idea as to what will make you look like an ass in the end.]
the poetry session didn't go well...primarily because he was just drinking this glass of vodka. oh, side note, in the course of him drinking the raspberry vodka, he breath became HOT. he was sitting next to me, with an appropriate distance, and i could smell it every time he opened his mouth. it was NOT a good look. we got through all of that. i made him this cd and then was searching desperately for a way to get this man out of my apartment. i think i lied and said i had errands to run. so, we walked out and i was about to leave. that's when he leaned in for a kiss.
living up here i have become a seasoned professional at dodging kisses. what makes it so bad is that i love kissing. making out is one of my favorite hobbies. i've been underwhelmed with the men and their steeze up here.
so, he leaves...unrequited. i never saw him again after that. i think he may have tried to call me a couple of times. oh, yea, i remember in either his first or second message he announced himself as "me." i don't know you. we're not friends. after awhile he stopped calling. i was comfortable with that.
i'm at home yesterday and there's a knock on my door. i look in the peephole and swore it was a woman, so i opened the door. guess who? he had long dreads...i should've looked harder. what am i going to do? i had already opened the door. so, i invited him in. we talked for awhile and he kept slipping in how good i looked. i kept changing the subject and dodging the topic. he asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said no, but that i was talking to somebody. i really do hate lying, but what was i supposed to do? in the interest in helping me out, i guess, he tried to explain the best approach for men and women to get together. his solution: mess around until true feelings come out and then move on from there. right. of course, his "advice" was amidst "damn you look good" and "you got those cute dimples" and, my favorite,"have you ever modeled? you got that natural beauty that doesn't need any makeup." seriously. why me?
so, i, clearly, was not taking his advice on relationships seriously. the bad thing is that i kept talking about this guy that i'm "talking to." i chose a friend of mine that i genuinely have fun with. i thought it'd be more convincing if i had individual stories to tell and my face actually lit up when i talked about him. so, making it very clear that i'm very interested in someone else, good old Mufasa was not deterred. he then proceeded to ask me for a kiss. he said how the last time we talked he wanted to kiss me, but wasn't sure and decided to come back because he'd never know if he didn't try. granted, that's true. when he was done rambling around the point, i looked at him and asked, "are you asking me?" he said yes. i said no. i mean, are you kidding me? as far as he knows i'm seeing someone and you're going to ask me for a kiss? nah.
he was reminiscing, i guess, of our one day together and he said he remembered that i was "picky." i told him i liked to call them standards. i'm not very compromising with them.
OH, i forgot the best part. when he arrived at my place around 3:30pm he had a half drunk beer in his hands and while he's trying to hit on me, he's slurring his words. classy. sorry, i'm so "picky." i require just a little more from men. come correct or not at all, playboy.
you know, that's why i don't date niggas anymore. niggerish activities. how are you going to show up at some girls house drunk and try to convince her to leave alone some guy she likes for your drunk ass? crazy talk.
so, i told him i had to get ready for work. it was 4pm and i had to be at work at 6:45pm. ah well. as he's leaving he asks me for my cell phone number. getting rid of my cell phone has been inconvenient at times, but so useful at other times. i told him i didn't have it on...which was true. he asked if i minded if sometimes, when he saw my car, he came over. i said i did mind. i don't like people just dropping in. you have to call first. oooh, and you don't have my number, sch-nap! i expect he'll try to stop by a couple of more times before i have to really shut him down. i'm hoping he gets my hints.
oh, yea, and he kept talking about how he was on "vacation." he never said where and i haven't seen him in about a year. i can only assume it was that "iron vacation." niggas.
he said he was a poet. i doubt that. at one point, there was song playing and he tried to free-style a poem.
[here's a question for guys:why do you do things that make us have to save your face? you really should have a general idea as to what will make you look like an ass in the end.]
the poetry session didn't go well...primarily because he was just drinking this glass of vodka. oh, side note, in the course of him drinking the raspberry vodka, he breath became HOT. he was sitting next to me, with an appropriate distance, and i could smell it every time he opened his mouth. it was NOT a good look. we got through all of that. i made him this cd and then was searching desperately for a way to get this man out of my apartment. i think i lied and said i had errands to run. so, we walked out and i was about to leave. that's when he leaned in for a kiss.
living up here i have become a seasoned professional at dodging kisses. what makes it so bad is that i love kissing. making out is one of my favorite hobbies. i've been underwhelmed with the men and their steeze up here.
so, he leaves...unrequited. i never saw him again after that. i think he may have tried to call me a couple of times. oh, yea, i remember in either his first or second message he announced himself as "me." i don't know you. we're not friends. after awhile he stopped calling. i was comfortable with that.
i'm at home yesterday and there's a knock on my door. i look in the peephole and swore it was a woman, so i opened the door. guess who? he had long dreads...i should've looked harder. what am i going to do? i had already opened the door. so, i invited him in. we talked for awhile and he kept slipping in how good i looked. i kept changing the subject and dodging the topic. he asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said no, but that i was talking to somebody. i really do hate lying, but what was i supposed to do? in the interest in helping me out, i guess, he tried to explain the best approach for men and women to get together. his solution: mess around until true feelings come out and then move on from there. right. of course, his "advice" was amidst "damn you look good" and "you got those cute dimples" and, my favorite,"have you ever modeled? you got that natural beauty that doesn't need any makeup." seriously. why me?
so, i, clearly, was not taking his advice on relationships seriously. the bad thing is that i kept talking about this guy that i'm "talking to." i chose a friend of mine that i genuinely have fun with. i thought it'd be more convincing if i had individual stories to tell and my face actually lit up when i talked about him. so, making it very clear that i'm very interested in someone else, good old Mufasa was not deterred. he then proceeded to ask me for a kiss. he said how the last time we talked he wanted to kiss me, but wasn't sure and decided to come back because he'd never know if he didn't try. granted, that's true. when he was done rambling around the point, i looked at him and asked, "are you asking me?" he said yes. i said no. i mean, are you kidding me? as far as he knows i'm seeing someone and you're going to ask me for a kiss? nah.
he was reminiscing, i guess, of our one day together and he said he remembered that i was "picky." i told him i liked to call them standards. i'm not very compromising with them.
OH, i forgot the best part. when he arrived at my place around 3:30pm he had a half drunk beer in his hands and while he's trying to hit on me, he's slurring his words. classy. sorry, i'm so "picky." i require just a little more from men. come correct or not at all, playboy.
you know, that's why i don't date niggas anymore. niggerish activities. how are you going to show up at some girls house drunk and try to convince her to leave alone some guy she likes for your drunk ass? crazy talk.
so, i told him i had to get ready for work. it was 4pm and i had to be at work at 6:45pm. ah well. as he's leaving he asks me for my cell phone number. getting rid of my cell phone has been inconvenient at times, but so useful at other times. i told him i didn't have it on...which was true. he asked if i minded if sometimes, when he saw my car, he came over. i said i did mind. i don't like people just dropping in. you have to call first. oooh, and you don't have my number, sch-nap! i expect he'll try to stop by a couple of more times before i have to really shut him down. i'm hoping he gets my hints.
oh, yea, and he kept talking about how he was on "vacation." he never said where and i haven't seen him in about a year. i can only assume it was that "iron vacation." niggas.
posted by badassed at
12:02 PM
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