old man crush
one of the best benefits to having an older guy crushing on you is that he keeps the guys my age in check. there's this guy, John, who lives around me and i see him all of the time sitting under this tree across the parking lot from me. he's really nice and, you know, it's nice to wave hi and bye to someone. i have so few pleasant, casual interactions with people. so, i like John.
i came home from work today in a weird mood. i think partially because i've been needing to write Ann for a long time. anytime i've gone too long without contact, i always feel that i'm letting Shawn down somehow. so, i'm a little stressed about that, but in a good way. i love Ann, i'm just sucking at keeping in touch. i'm also a little stressed out because my tags expire in less than a week and my dad is leaving the country in two days and i haven't gotten my new stickers from the DMV. this is really a problem if they mail them to my dad's after fri., because there won't be anyone to send them to me for a month. plus, my dad puts his mail on hold, so i can't even have any of my friends pick them up and the send them.
but, i digress.
so, i get out of my car and start to walk up to my mailbox. as i'm coming back, there are about 6 guys sitting out there ranging from 15-50yrs. old. so, i'm walking by and wave hi. the lot of us exchange pleasantries and one of the guys, who's about my age, asks me if i'm Puerto Rican (my hair is a big, curly mess, so it's a fair question). i say no and say i'm mixed and then he asks me if i have a boyfriend. i tell him no. almost in unison, all the guys there let out this "oh really?!" sound. i laugh and keep walking. the guys starts to say something else and i hear John tell the guy, "easy, now." i dig that. i like how John's affection for me keeps the other guys in check.
the guy was cute and then it occured to me that i'm only single because i choose to be. granted, there is one guy i'm particularly interested in, but i know he's not really into me. besides, i mostly want to make out with him. the more i interact with him the more i realize just how high and dense his walls are. he's so guarded. i understand, i am too. that's why i lie all of the time. the good news is that he does all of the things i either did or still do to keep people at a distance. so, at least i can recognize it.
he's the only one i'm really interested in. he's what i want. i can have a great mulitude of things. i could stop typing this blog, walk 20 feet and get a boyfriend. plus, lest we forget the ever-so-determined Mufasa. so, it's not that i can't. i just don't. i don't know, maybe i could do with a dose of fun.
i have a million things going on in my head right now, completely unrelated to boys. perhaps i should be thinking about a million and one.
i came home from work today in a weird mood. i think partially because i've been needing to write Ann for a long time. anytime i've gone too long without contact, i always feel that i'm letting Shawn down somehow. so, i'm a little stressed about that, but in a good way. i love Ann, i'm just sucking at keeping in touch. i'm also a little stressed out because my tags expire in less than a week and my dad is leaving the country in two days and i haven't gotten my new stickers from the DMV. this is really a problem if they mail them to my dad's after fri., because there won't be anyone to send them to me for a month. plus, my dad puts his mail on hold, so i can't even have any of my friends pick them up and the send them.
but, i digress.
so, i get out of my car and start to walk up to my mailbox. as i'm coming back, there are about 6 guys sitting out there ranging from 15-50yrs. old. so, i'm walking by and wave hi. the lot of us exchange pleasantries and one of the guys, who's about my age, asks me if i'm Puerto Rican (my hair is a big, curly mess, so it's a fair question). i say no and say i'm mixed and then he asks me if i have a boyfriend. i tell him no. almost in unison, all the guys there let out this "oh really?!" sound. i laugh and keep walking. the guys starts to say something else and i hear John tell the guy, "easy, now." i dig that. i like how John's affection for me keeps the other guys in check.
the guy was cute and then it occured to me that i'm only single because i choose to be. granted, there is one guy i'm particularly interested in, but i know he's not really into me. besides, i mostly want to make out with him. the more i interact with him the more i realize just how high and dense his walls are. he's so guarded. i understand, i am too. that's why i lie all of the time. the good news is that he does all of the things i either did or still do to keep people at a distance. so, at least i can recognize it.
he's the only one i'm really interested in. he's what i want. i can have a great mulitude of things. i could stop typing this blog, walk 20 feet and get a boyfriend. plus, lest we forget the ever-so-determined Mufasa. so, it's not that i can't. i just don't. i don't know, maybe i could do with a dose of fun.
i have a million things going on in my head right now, completely unrelated to boys. perhaps i should be thinking about a million and one.
posted by badassed at
8:11 PM
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