honkytown strikes again

i'm at work today and the size of the "African American History Month" table is just embarrassing. oh, i'm sorry, it's a table and an endcap. the table is a glorified night stand. it's small enough that i can grab either side. yea, it's unacceptable. i mentioned that it was a bit shameful last week, but was ignored. i came into work today and it bothered me all over again. it's just insulting. i mean, if you're not going to do it well, don't do it at all. it's a token table of blackness. so, this morning i mentioned it to my assistant manager to which he replied, "how do you think we feel? for gay [week?month? i don't remember] we only get an endcap." i looked at him and said, "yea, but we were enslaved." funny how that never seems to lose it potency. so, he told me to talk to the store manager...and i did.

i went into her office and ask, "what's up with the blackness?" i told her what i thought of it and that --which is true-- this weekend an older black lady came in looking for our table and found it wanting in girth and variety and left quite annoyed. my manager told me if i could fill up a table that i had free reign. she and i walked out to the table and we're looking it over and i'm telling her what i plan to do, at which point she picks up Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man and wonders out loud what it's doing there...as though in the wrong place. i blankly stare at her and say, "um, because it's written by Ralph Ellison." she said, "oh, is he black?" i took a deep breath, shook my head, and said, "oh [her name], not only is he a black author, but the book is about the invisibility of blacks in white America. yea, i'm gonna need another table."

what made it so funny was that it felt like i was being punk'd. it felt like any minute Ashton was going to come running around from the mystery section laughing. she couldn't have chosen a more glaring example of a) her ignorance and b) the necessity for black history month if it was scripted. the best part is that, in this area, white people are so proud of their liberalism that they are shamed more than most when faced with their own racism and ignorance. that was not an example of racism, but it was ignorance. no, the racism is the next story.

anyway, the way this story ends is with me and my pretty, expanded table of Blackness. i made sure i showed every manager and had them marvel at the beauty of the Blackness. oh, and i'm making my managers a list of important black authors and titles to know. for the love of Christ, it's Ralph Ellison. so, a packet is about to come their way.

now, for the racism:

there's this girl, Erica, i work with. she nice enough and she's cool...in theory. in practice, she's a bit abrasive and crude. she's white and has a mixed son. i give her props, because she doesn't do the standard "white girl with black dick" gig and try to act black. she's trying to get educated in black culture primarily to raise a strong black man. i respect that. however, sometimes she starts to fall into that "wanna be down" pitfall and i have to check her...hard. i'm very lenient with white stupidity...i'd be the angriest girl in the world if i didn't...but for all of the books and friends of color, she just does some white-ass shit. two things that black people just don't do: 1) call each other "bitch" unless earrings and nails are coming off and you're about to throw down and 2) talk about someone's mom. she does this thing where she thinks it's funny to respond to anything with, "your moms." so, when i'm talking about Paris Hilton and say, "man, if ever there was a murder victim," she --having only just arrived to the conversation-- foolishly says, "your moms." yea, i shut that shit down quick.

so, today. i couldn't find 9 copies of Cornell West's Race Matters. i looked everywhere. i looked in place it didn't even make sense to look, like biography. nothing. nowhere. i even got other people involved in my search, she was one of them. after exhausting every logical place she says, "i know this is going to seem fucked up, but did you check True Crime." yea. next she'll tell me Barak Obama looks "clean." this is why black people hate white people. i looked at her and said, "that's just ridiculous," but --as Andrea pointed out, which is true-- it shows where white people's heads still are. really? Cornell West in True Crime? because all black people are criminals? later on Erica said, "i know it was far-fetched, but i was trying to help." i responded, "it was far-fetched bordering offensive." gotta shut that shit down quick.

today has been an endurance test in stupid cracker antics. fucking Honkytown.

"make me wanna holla/the way they do my life."