origin

at least i know where i get it from. i can be quite the asshole and condescending to boot. it's good to know why you are the way you are. i'm this way because, much like the kid with drugs in the PSA from the 80's, i learned it from my father. my dad's an English professor and has a way with words. he's trying to get some paintings over to Ukraine for an art showing and is worried that, in the KLM leg of the trip, the "bitches" on KLM (the stewardesses) will make him check them and, therefore, guarantee the ruin that comes from a 11 hour flight in the cargo hold. so, my dad wrote a letter to the President of Northwest Airlines --partnered with KLM--to inquire about this issue.

here are a couple of gems from that email:

Here is my question: can you -- or your agents in
St. Louis -- guarantee that my carry-on paintings
(which I am sure will be allowed to be carried on in St. Louis)
will then be allowed to be carried on by KLM stewardesses
(who are notoriously arrogant and unhelpful)
from Amsterdam to Kyiv?

then there's:

But, if you cannot guarantee
my paintings' safety at the hands of your KLM "partners,"
I will, instead, fly Delta from St. Louis to JFK
and AeroSvit from JFK to Kyiv and from Kyiv to Odessa,
thereby avoiding the KLM "problem people" completely.

problem people...what a dick.

i love my father. the good news is that i really did learn everything from home. it's gotta start somewhere.