my poor heart
i just looked at myself in the mirror and i'm a mess. my mascara is smeared so much i look like The Crow. i've been crying so long my head and heart hurt. the shameful thing is that it's not about a boy, it's about a show. i just watched the final part of a three part event on Grey's Anatomy and was weeping like a child. i was a mess last week, but tonight...oh, my god, tonight.
i got home from work at 10:30pm and immediately took off my shoes and pants and plopped myself in the middle of the floor of my living room floor. for the next hour i didn't move. i never made it to the couch and i totally forgot i was hungry. i turned on the tv and was hooked. i won't bore anyone with the details, but, essentially, Meredith had to decide she wanted to live. the part that wrecked me was that the reason she decided to fight to live was because of Derek. not just that they loved each other and all of that, it was what Denny said. he said that it was rare to find someone like him who was a talented, good man who loves her and an optimist, despite everything he sees working in a hospital. he said the reason she needed to live was that if she died it would forever change him.
uh, cue the waterworks. the scene and all that followed had me sobbing. not just the lone tear streaking down my face. i mean full on heaving chest, audible sobs. by the time it was over, my cheeks were raw and my chest was soaked. i think the last time i cried that hard at TV was ...oh, well, the Notebook, but i'm genetically predisposed --as a woman-- to weep at that movie, but before that...The English Patient. i watched in my downstairs back home and cried all through the credits and after the screen was blank. i pretty much cried myself to sleep on that one. tonight wasn't that rough, but it was pretty fucking close.
of course, there's all of the connections with Shawn and then this past thing, but even if my life had been a basket full of roses, i still would've been a mess. i'm a sensitive soul, what can i say?
what a good fucking show.
i got home from work at 10:30pm and immediately took off my shoes and pants and plopped myself in the middle of the floor of my living room floor. for the next hour i didn't move. i never made it to the couch and i totally forgot i was hungry. i turned on the tv and was hooked. i won't bore anyone with the details, but, essentially, Meredith had to decide she wanted to live. the part that wrecked me was that the reason she decided to fight to live was because of Derek. not just that they loved each other and all of that, it was what Denny said. he said that it was rare to find someone like him who was a talented, good man who loves her and an optimist, despite everything he sees working in a hospital. he said the reason she needed to live was that if she died it would forever change him.
uh, cue the waterworks. the scene and all that followed had me sobbing. not just the lone tear streaking down my face. i mean full on heaving chest, audible sobs. by the time it was over, my cheeks were raw and my chest was soaked. i think the last time i cried that hard at TV was ...oh, well, the Notebook, but i'm genetically predisposed --as a woman-- to weep at that movie, but before that...The English Patient. i watched in my downstairs back home and cried all through the credits and after the screen was blank. i pretty much cried myself to sleep on that one. tonight wasn't that rough, but it was pretty fucking close.
of course, there's all of the connections with Shawn and then this past thing, but even if my life had been a basket full of roses, i still would've been a mess. i'm a sensitive soul, what can i say?
what a good fucking show.
posted by badassed at
12:22 AM
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