special request
fellas: you simply can not ask a girl to flirt with you. it's not a good look. it's an even worse look if she indulges you and you suddenly turn into Beaky Buzzard. man, have i had my fill of ridiculous men. tonight was no different. there's this new guy at work. i don't see him much and don't really have an opinion of him, although he seems to rub just about everyone i talk to the wrong way. he's loud --well, he has a bit of a booming voice-- and he's really cocky... but not in the hot, Vegas cocky way.
my only real encounter with him was when he asked if any people from work ever went for drinks. he was referred to me, because, apparently, i'm the resident drunk. anyway, i told him i usually hang out at the Watering Hole and that it was a serious dive. he said he doesn't do dives and that he only drinks expensive liquor. fine. so i told him to check out the Tunnel Bar and that their drinks were a bit pricier and that they made really good martinis. he responded that he doesn't drink martinis and started to tell me what he did drink, but, honestly, i tuned him out because: a) i do do dives and b) if i did go out, i wouldn't invite him so i couldn't care less what he drinks. that encounter didn't totally turn me off, he's just a snob and probably overcompensating. it is what it is. my usual contact with him is very minimal and relatively pleasant.
tonight, Jase was working and i big heart Jason. so, i peaked in to see if he was at work yet and dude asked me what i was looking for. i told him, "honestly, i was looking for Jason." he told me when he came in and i said i'd be back when he got there, which i did. as soon as i saw Jase, i went over and started talking and shamelessly flirting with him, as is my wont and our gig. i came over with some coffee, which Jase jokingly asked if i bought him for him. i shit you not, dude sais--semi-seriously-- "how come you don't come over flirting with me and bringing me coffee?" on the surface it seems playful and innocuous enough, but i don't know him. so, it's just kind of weird.
i only shamelessly flirt with my friends. i love Jase and we've known each other for years. there's nothing between us, which is what makes it so fun. no chance of misinterpretation. hell, even when Vegas was around i didn't flirt with him as much as i do Jase, because i actually liked him and my affection for him was not for sport.
anyway, i told the guy that i was an equal opportunity flirter and that i'd think about it. later on that night, his department got a phone call and as i transfered the call, i commented on his loud voice. he said some people considered it offputting. i slyly told him that i found it rather soothing.
then it happened: dude turned into Beaky. he was stuttering and fumbling his words. it was so bad, not only could he not recover, but he ended up just hanging up the phone on me. come to think of it, i never saw him leave. he must've just slipped out.
anyway, i laughed about that the whole night. hell, i laughed just now typing it. to be so bold as to ask a girl to flirt with you and then fumble so badly you have to hang up on her...hi-larious. oh, and what makes the story even better is that, at least when i first saw him before Jase came, he was leaning up against the counter with his arms propping him up and his fly was wide open. Jase asked me if i told him, i said no because it was funny. what makes it hysterical is that he's going to get home tonight, realize it was open, but have no idea how long it was or who saw. there's the funny.
i know i'm kinda cold-hearted, but to roll with me, you gotta bring your A game.
my only real encounter with him was when he asked if any people from work ever went for drinks. he was referred to me, because, apparently, i'm the resident drunk. anyway, i told him i usually hang out at the Watering Hole and that it was a serious dive. he said he doesn't do dives and that he only drinks expensive liquor. fine. so i told him to check out the Tunnel Bar and that their drinks were a bit pricier and that they made really good martinis. he responded that he doesn't drink martinis and started to tell me what he did drink, but, honestly, i tuned him out because: a) i do do dives and b) if i did go out, i wouldn't invite him so i couldn't care less what he drinks. that encounter didn't totally turn me off, he's just a snob and probably overcompensating. it is what it is. my usual contact with him is very minimal and relatively pleasant.
tonight, Jase was working and i big heart Jason. so, i peaked in to see if he was at work yet and dude asked me what i was looking for. i told him, "honestly, i was looking for Jason." he told me when he came in and i said i'd be back when he got there, which i did. as soon as i saw Jase, i went over and started talking and shamelessly flirting with him, as is my wont and our gig. i came over with some coffee, which Jase jokingly asked if i bought him for him. i shit you not, dude sais--semi-seriously-- "how come you don't come over flirting with me and bringing me coffee?" on the surface it seems playful and innocuous enough, but i don't know him. so, it's just kind of weird.
i only shamelessly flirt with my friends. i love Jase and we've known each other for years. there's nothing between us, which is what makes it so fun. no chance of misinterpretation. hell, even when Vegas was around i didn't flirt with him as much as i do Jase, because i actually liked him and my affection for him was not for sport.
anyway, i told the guy that i was an equal opportunity flirter and that i'd think about it. later on that night, his department got a phone call and as i transfered the call, i commented on his loud voice. he said some people considered it offputting. i slyly told him that i found it rather soothing.
then it happened: dude turned into Beaky. he was stuttering and fumbling his words. it was so bad, not only could he not recover, but he ended up just hanging up the phone on me. come to think of it, i never saw him leave. he must've just slipped out.
anyway, i laughed about that the whole night. hell, i laughed just now typing it. to be so bold as to ask a girl to flirt with you and then fumble so badly you have to hang up on her...hi-larious. oh, and what makes the story even better is that, at least when i first saw him before Jase came, he was leaning up against the counter with his arms propping him up and his fly was wide open. Jase asked me if i told him, i said no because it was funny. what makes it hysterical is that he's going to get home tonight, realize it was open, but have no idea how long it was or who saw. there's the funny.
i know i'm kinda cold-hearted, but to roll with me, you gotta bring your A game.
posted by badassed at
1:50 AM
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