lame, i tell you...LAME!
i'm in NYC right now visiting my brother and his fiance. we went to go see Star Wars III last night. oh, man. i should start out by saying that i'm a moderate Star Wars fan. i really liked the first three, as did the rest of the world, but i've been perpetually turned off by the newer ones. however, like the Matrix, i was already enrolled in the class and needed to see the last one to graduate. we went to the 10:45pm showing in Lincoln Square. it was packed and we were full from dinner and didn't have the highest of hopes, but heard it got fairly good reviews, so we were keeping an open mind.
it starts out and it was alright. a lot of dialog that was necessary to establish the plot, but stuff we already knew, since the sole reason 98% of the people were there was to see Darth Vadder. but, ok. they need to explain the progression. fine. it was getting very boring, very quickly. i, actually, started to nod off a couple of times. it's not that the initial fight scenes were bad, but they were just repeatative.
then we get to Padme. oh, jesus. the first scene that we see the two of them together they are out on the balcony and she has her back to him. she turns around and my brother lets out an audible, "ugh." she looked crazy. he said later that she looked like a Lisa Lisa backup singer. she looked aweful. the conversation between her and Ankin was so ridiculous that the theater erupted in laughter. i leaned into my brother and said, "if George Lucas was here right now, he'd be ashamed of himself." to have the driving force for Ankin to turned to the dark side and, eventually, into Darth Vadder so unbelievable really undermines the whole thing. but whatever. so then Ankin has these dreams...for all of the special effects Lucas so brilliantly creates and executes, those dream sequences looked like an episode of Dr. Who. at this point i was laughing so uncontrollably i was crying, gasping for breath, and had to plug my ears and block out everything to calm down.
all of this wasn't helped by the jokes. the mechanical sith with four arms that was coughing and weezing the whole time was hilarious. my brother leans into me and said, "if he's a robot, why is he coughing?" i said, "because he has a virus." we laughed. then his fiance pointed out, during a fight when a window was knocked out and everyone of breathless but him, "if he doesn't need to breathe, why is he weezing." good point. we supposed later that the common quality of the sith dudes is that they're hybrids of man and machine. even still, lame. then R2 was fighting off these driods and starting squirting oil all over the floor. i leaned into my brother and said, "hey guys! slick shoes!" the night progressed in very much the same tone. there was this guy next to me who, when he wasn't checking his cell phone messages, was sitting there with his hand on the side of face in the universal position of disbelief. at one point my brother was sunk way down in his chair in the same position. it was funny.
now, we come to Darth. oh, man. we had suffered through 2.5 hours for this moment. when it comes, Darth walks out of his restaints in his new body like Frankenstein. he lurches out and stiffly moves foward. he asks about Padme and is told she is dead. then he lifts his arms and yells, "noooooooo." the place erupted in laughter. it was embarrassing. later on my brothers' fiance justifies, at least the walking, by saying that he was unaccustomed to his new legs and such, so it made sense. my brothers' and my position was that we didn't care. Darth Vadder was supposed to be badassed and slick. no one wants to see him and check for bolts in his neck. she was trying hard to defend the movie, but it wasn't working.
there other things that we thought were really lame. like the naming of the kids. it seemed like there was just more story than Lucas had time for and things were hurried. when Padme was giving birth, as the kids came out she named them. of course, this explains how Luke and Leah came to be, but it was so forced. at no point did Padme and Ankin say, "i'm so excited about a child. if it's a boy, let's name him Luke. if it's a girl lets name her Leah." that'd be cool. the way it was done was too need-to-be-consistant-with-future-movies. the one thing we all agreed on was that the fight scenes were repeatative and boring. the few bright spots were when people, oh i don't know, used the force. at one point, Yoda walks in to see the emperor and without flinching knocks his guards out by slamming then against wall with the force. that was cool. the force was what everyone was talking about. "use the force," but no one did. there was no symmetry in the teachings of it either. it would've been cool to see Ankin mentored and trained in using the darkside as Luke, later, will be trained in the swamps by Yoda. it was just, all of a sudden Ankins' eyes were red and he was mentally throwing shit around.
it was lame. it was too much in too little time. Lucas should've cut out a bunch of other shit from his last two movies to spread it out and really develop the characters and their motives. as it stands he has bored me. on the ride home my brothersaid, "already the movie is fading," and it was. i likened the movie, and the last two as well, to an infomercial. he's peddling this crap for $19.95 and it doesn't matter if it works. it doesn't matter if people like it. all that matters is to break even he just need a certain number of people to buy it one time. that's all this is. these last three movies are his get rich scheme that's ridding on the backs of three amazing movies and preying on our loyalty to them. that is corny and lame.
we ultimately decided that we are dropping out the theatrical university. between the Matrix and this, i clearly need to change my major.
it starts out and it was alright. a lot of dialog that was necessary to establish the plot, but stuff we already knew, since the sole reason 98% of the people were there was to see Darth Vadder. but, ok. they need to explain the progression. fine. it was getting very boring, very quickly. i, actually, started to nod off a couple of times. it's not that the initial fight scenes were bad, but they were just repeatative.
then we get to Padme. oh, jesus. the first scene that we see the two of them together they are out on the balcony and she has her back to him. she turns around and my brother lets out an audible, "ugh." she looked crazy. he said later that she looked like a Lisa Lisa backup singer. she looked aweful. the conversation between her and Ankin was so ridiculous that the theater erupted in laughter. i leaned into my brother and said, "if George Lucas was here right now, he'd be ashamed of himself." to have the driving force for Ankin to turned to the dark side and, eventually, into Darth Vadder so unbelievable really undermines the whole thing. but whatever. so then Ankin has these dreams...for all of the special effects Lucas so brilliantly creates and executes, those dream sequences looked like an episode of Dr. Who. at this point i was laughing so uncontrollably i was crying, gasping for breath, and had to plug my ears and block out everything to calm down.
all of this wasn't helped by the jokes. the mechanical sith with four arms that was coughing and weezing the whole time was hilarious. my brother leans into me and said, "if he's a robot, why is he coughing?" i said, "because he has a virus." we laughed. then his fiance pointed out, during a fight when a window was knocked out and everyone of breathless but him, "if he doesn't need to breathe, why is he weezing." good point. we supposed later that the common quality of the sith dudes is that they're hybrids of man and machine. even still, lame. then R2 was fighting off these driods and starting squirting oil all over the floor. i leaned into my brother and said, "hey guys! slick shoes!" the night progressed in very much the same tone. there was this guy next to me who, when he wasn't checking his cell phone messages, was sitting there with his hand on the side of face in the universal position of disbelief. at one point my brother was sunk way down in his chair in the same position. it was funny.
now, we come to Darth. oh, man. we had suffered through 2.5 hours for this moment. when it comes, Darth walks out of his restaints in his new body like Frankenstein. he lurches out and stiffly moves foward. he asks about Padme and is told she is dead. then he lifts his arms and yells, "noooooooo." the place erupted in laughter. it was embarrassing. later on my brothers' fiance justifies, at least the walking, by saying that he was unaccustomed to his new legs and such, so it made sense. my brothers' and my position was that we didn't care. Darth Vadder was supposed to be badassed and slick. no one wants to see him and check for bolts in his neck. she was trying hard to defend the movie, but it wasn't working.
there other things that we thought were really lame. like the naming of the kids. it seemed like there was just more story than Lucas had time for and things were hurried. when Padme was giving birth, as the kids came out she named them. of course, this explains how Luke and Leah came to be, but it was so forced. at no point did Padme and Ankin say, "i'm so excited about a child. if it's a boy, let's name him Luke. if it's a girl lets name her Leah." that'd be cool. the way it was done was too need-to-be-consistant-with-future-movies. the one thing we all agreed on was that the fight scenes were repeatative and boring. the few bright spots were when people, oh i don't know, used the force. at one point, Yoda walks in to see the emperor and without flinching knocks his guards out by slamming then against wall with the force. that was cool. the force was what everyone was talking about. "use the force," but no one did. there was no symmetry in the teachings of it either. it would've been cool to see Ankin mentored and trained in using the darkside as Luke, later, will be trained in the swamps by Yoda. it was just, all of a sudden Ankins' eyes were red and he was mentally throwing shit around.
it was lame. it was too much in too little time. Lucas should've cut out a bunch of other shit from his last two movies to spread it out and really develop the characters and their motives. as it stands he has bored me. on the ride home my brothersaid, "already the movie is fading," and it was. i likened the movie, and the last two as well, to an infomercial. he's peddling this crap for $19.95 and it doesn't matter if it works. it doesn't matter if people like it. all that matters is to break even he just need a certain number of people to buy it one time. that's all this is. these last three movies are his get rich scheme that's ridding on the backs of three amazing movies and preying on our loyalty to them. that is corny and lame.
we ultimately decided that we are dropping out the theatrical university. between the Matrix and this, i clearly need to change my major.
posted by badassed at
10:14 AM
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