Recognize I'm A Fool And You Love Me

Saturday, April 15, 2006

fuck The Bean

i hate boston. everytime i come here, the worst things happen to me. well, maybe that's an exaggeration. perhaps not the worst things, but some seriously bogus shit goes down everytime i'm in town (i didn't mean to make that rhyme).

i'm here visiting my girl, Nisey. up until 5 mins. ago, i was having a good time. i did a little shopping. i met her new man --who's cool as shit-- watched a little Dodgeball, and just chilled the fuck out. then, Pepper happened.

Pepper is Nisey's dog...who gets coddled worse than a Hilton. admittedly, she got Pepper from the pound and --seeing as how he was there-- he hasn't had the best go of things. because of that, she feels really bad about discipling him...so she doesn't. he pisses on the floor, she cleans it up. he scratches the doors and whines, she lets him in. she has to trick him before she can leave so his "separation anxiety" isn't too bad. he's even commandeered the futon in one of the rooms as his own bed. that, of course, isn't counting the bed in his room, the pillow for him in her room, and his blanket at the foot of the bed.

i love pets. i especially love dogs. never that. so, he's grown accustomed to getting away with bloody murder. all of that shit stopped tonight.

i got some take out from this joint down the street. i had a cheeseburger and some fries. i ate the burger, but was way too stuffed to eat the fries. so, i got up to go into the livingroom to ask Nisey and Terry if they wanted them. Terry did, so when i went into the kitchen, and found Pepper eating the fries he had knocked to the floor. i tried to get him away from the food, so i started by trying to back him away with my foot. it was at that point that proceeded to bite the shit out of the big toe on my right foot. so, now my toe is bleeding and it's soaking through the sock. to get him off of my toe, i push his head away, at which point he decided to bite my hand...a couple of times. so, now my toe is throbbing and bleeding and my hand is swollen with bite marks.

hearing the growling and me yelling at the dog, Nisey and Terry come into the kitchen. once we sorted out the chain of events, she grabs the broom to try to get him into the gated pantry; his official room. however, because she feels so sorry for him, she doesn't want to hurt him. i, however, have no problems hurting him. well, that's not true. i wasn't mad. yes, both extremities on the right side of my body were wounded, but he's a dog and i was coming between him and his food. i also understand that he was dealt a raw deal. that, however, does not excuse him from his transgression, and this is the most obvious time to start teaching him lessons. besides, he wasn't too delicate to bite the shit out of me. there's not a whole lot of damage the bristles on a broom will cause him. so, i get Nisey out of the kitchen and have her block the door so Pepper can't run out. we tussle for about 5 mins. he bites some bristles out of the broom and barks a lot, but eventually he calms down. that's when i get him laying on the ground and Nisey comes in and carts him off and locks the gate.

by this point, the blood has adhered the sock to my foot and we go to the bathroom to clean it off, which was funny because it hurt and tickled at the same time. anyway, we get everything cleaned and bandaged up. she feels bad, but it's cool. then she asks how long he has to stay locked up in the dark. i told her all night. she incredulously said, "all night?" that's when i held up my foot and hand and said, "oh, i'm sorry, you're concerned about your dog's feelings?" she was appropriately shamed.

so, Pepper's still in there whimpering. it's not quite so persistent now. i think of him like a punished toddler. yes, they're mad. yes, they want to get up, and yes, i do feel bad about them hollering. however, eventually, they will just cry themselves to sleep. there's no way that dog's getting out before sunrise. now, i'm not totally cruel and i do recognize that he doesn't like being left alone. that's why i'm leaving the radio on all night. at least it's not complete darkness and silence. i'm not a complete monster, but that fucker will remember this and, hopefully, learn.

fucking Boston, man.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home