enough already

you know, people need to leave O.J. alone.

the Goldman family needs to get a hobby, pronto.

whether right or wrong, O.J. was found not guilty. for judges to keep allowing the Goldman family, in particular, to confiscate this man's money is ridiculous. as much as i hate to say, you know it's because he's black. thousands of white people get off from murders they clearly committed and people complain about a flawed legal system, but that's where it ends. O.J.'s found not guilty for the murder of his white wife and her lover and the man never gets left alone.

now, i'm aware that the reason the Goldman's are forever up in O.J.'s grill ...and in his pockets... is to collect on the wrongful death suit settlement. perhaps that's where my problem lies. certainly awarding the Goldman and Brown family $38 Million and $24 Million, respectively, in a wrongful death suit is enough to ensure that the man will live the rest of his life struggling and poor. which, i think, is an excellent ruling for a man found innocent. a whopping bill of $62 million is not tantamount to a guilty verdict at all. it doesn't send a clear message that the courts think he should've been found guilty but, since that didn't work, they would allow other legal avenues to ruin him.

aside from the race issue, i'm just sick of these people in general. i recognize their grief and, definitely, the feeling of being cheated is a harsh one to deal with. however, at some point, you just have to let it go. it's been 12 years. 12 years and they're still yapping behind him screaming, "it's not fair." i can only imagine how this has ruined their lives. can you imagine talk around the dinner table? O.J. updates and plans to continually bring him down. it all must get so tedious and spiteful. all of that hatred starts to eat you alive. i understand the desire for justice, but this is bordering of obsessive revenge. i think it'll start to backfire, because, i think, it starts to paint O.J. as the victim. a man who was cleared of all charges, but can't make a single move without the Goldman's (in particular) filing lawsuits.

i also find it interesting that the Brown's, if they do get involved, does it at the 11th hour. they're not leading this charge. O.J. was married to their daughter and was part of their family, if anyone should feel the most betrayed, it should be them. you'd think it'd be them. but i digress.

at least, O.J. is starting to speak out:

OJ Lashes Out At Family Of Victim

Updated: 10:18, Wednesday August 01, 2007

OJ Simpson has lashed out at the family of the late Ronald Goldman, one of two people he was sensationally cleared of murdering.

Simpson cleared of murder in 1995

The former American football star spoke out a day after Mr Goldman's relatives won the rights to Simpson's cancelled If I Did It book.

The controversial book detailed how Simpson would have killed his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ronald Goldman - a crime he has always denied.

News of the book's imminent publication caused a storm of protest.

Simpson was cleared of the vicious stabbings in 1995 following a trial that gripped the world. However, he lost civil lawsuits brought by the families of both victims.

Simpson criticised Mr Goldman's family of seeking to profit from the book after they said it promoted criminality and commercialised abuse.

A federal bankruptcy judge in Miami had awarded the book rights to Mr Goldman's family to satisfy a £19m wrongful death judgment against Simpson.

The sportsman-turned-actor said: "I find it sort of hypocritical that they talked everybody in America to boycott the book saying it was 'immoral', it was 'blood money'.

"But we now see it wasn't 'blood money' if they got the money."

True. True. the Goldman's get 90% of the profits of the book and the Brown's get the other 10%. what happens if the book makes $100 million . will they finally shut the fuck up? will he get the remaining $46 million? do the rights transfer back to him? there has to be a ceiling.

i do have to say one thing though: O.J. that book...not the best idea.

i had a dream about Shawn last night. i don't remember the last time i had a dream this vivid...well, actually i do. it was a few years ago. these dreams are such a blessing and a curse. the thing that makes them so amazing is that it's not like i have some vague hint of him being there. it's just him. everything about him. everything he was and who he was to me is the same. there's no one else in the dream. it's just the two of us together again for those hours until my alarm pulls him away.

it makes waking up so hard and me hostile to the world for the rest of the day. it's not just the pain of loss, which is occasional, but acute. it's my life. it's where i am and who i am because of it. it's the wondering that gets me. where i would be, who would i be. i never would've met these people or lived in this apartment. as much as like some of them, truth be told, there's not one i wouldn't trade for him. i would be married somewhere with a couple of kids to a man who fiercely loved me. now...it's pathetic. and it sucks because there are few things worse in this world than feeling you got robbed. i abhor should've, could've, and would'ves, but there simply nothing i can do. not even then, there's nothing i could've done differently. it just is and it hurts and i have to suck it up.

i'm so tired of this being my reality.

the hottness

you know it's too hot when it's too hot to go swimming. i'm about to smooth sit up under my airconditioner and paint my nails.

lawd-a-mercy!