george harrison would be...

proud? i don't know, but this shit is hilarious. hey, at least they're trying to be more historically accurate and didn't use white chocolate.

oh, irony

LOL.

special request

fellas: you simply can not ask a girl to flirt with you. it's not a good look. it's an even worse look if she indulges you and you suddenly turn into Beaky Buzzard. man, have i had my fill of ridiculous men. tonight was no different. there's this new guy at work. i don't see him much and don't really have an opinion of him, although he seems to rub just about everyone i talk to the wrong way. he's loud --well, he has a bit of a booming voice-- and he's really cocky... but not in the hot, Vegas cocky way.

my only real encounter with him was when he asked if any people from work ever went for drinks. he was referred to me, because, apparently, i'm the resident drunk. anyway, i told him i usually hang out at the Watering Hole and that it was a serious dive. he said he doesn't do dives and that he only drinks expensive liquor. fine. so i told him to check out the Tunnel Bar and that their drinks were a bit pricier and that they made really good martinis. he responded that he doesn't drink martinis and started to tell me what he did drink, but, honestly, i tuned him out because: a) i do do dives and b) if i did go out, i wouldn't invite him so i couldn't care less what he drinks. that encounter didn't totally turn me off, he's just a snob and probably overcompensating. it is what it is. my usual contact with him is very minimal and relatively pleasant.

tonight, Jase was working and i big heart Jason. so, i peaked in to see if he was at work yet and dude asked me what i was looking for. i told him, "honestly, i was looking for Jason." he told me when he came in and i said i'd be back when he got there, which i did. as soon as i saw Jase, i went over and started talking and shamelessly flirting with him, as is my wont and our gig. i came over with some coffee, which Jase jokingly asked if i bought him for him. i shit you not, dude sais--semi-seriously-- "how come you don't come over flirting with me and bringing me coffee?" on the surface it seems playful and innocuous enough, but i don't know him. so, it's just kind of weird.

i only shamelessly flirt with my friends. i love Jase and we've known each other for years. there's nothing between us, which is what makes it so fun. no chance of misinterpretation. hell, even when Vegas was around i didn't flirt with him as much as i do Jase, because i actually liked him and my affection for him was not for sport.

anyway, i told the guy that i was an equal opportunity flirter and that i'd think about it. later on that night, his department got a phone call and as i transfered the call, i commented on his loud voice. he said some people considered it offputting. i slyly told him that i found it rather soothing.

then it happened: dude turned into Beaky. he was stuttering and fumbling his words. it was so bad, not only could he not recover, but he ended up just hanging up the phone on me. come to think of it, i never saw him leave. he must've just slipped out.

anyway, i laughed about that the whole night. hell, i laughed just now typing it. to be so bold as to ask a girl to flirt with you and then fumble so badly you have to hang up on her...hi-larious. oh, and what makes the story even better is that, at least when i first saw him before Jase came, he was leaning up against the counter with his arms propping him up and his fly was wide open. Jase asked me if i told him, i said no because it was funny. what makes it hysterical is that he's going to get home tonight, realize it was open, but have no idea how long it was or who saw. there's the funny.

i know i'm kinda cold-hearted, but to roll with me, you gotta bring your A game.

lunatic

i'm a lunatic. i'd like to think it's part of my charm...who knows. so i went out tonight to a friend of mine's going away shindig at Ye Ole Watering Hole. i went with 6+ inches of snow and sleet coming down. i'm an idiot.

i did this kind of crazy driving only one other time, but it was much further away and i was...well, am...in love with the guy. so, i'd do that for him again in a heartbeat.

this guy tonight is my Aussie, Kerry. he's "or-some." the reason i went out tonight is because he's moving on Monday and he makes me laugh. i've been frequenting the Watering Hole with him for quite some time now and he's pretty much the only person who has successfully managed to get me to a point to where everytime he calls i'll come out...because he makes me laugh. what can i say? dude's a good time. anyway, it's about 15 mi. away from where i live and it took me almost an hour to get home. crazy talk.

i'm not a big believer in...many things, actually. no, that's not true. i very much believe in Karma and the notion of giving to the ether what you want in return. it's why i give Goat rides home when i wasn't even thinking about going to NoHo. because, i'd like to think that i'm putting that out into the world and, if my brother was ever in need, it would transfer to him. i adhere pretty strictly to the Golden Rule, even when i'm being an asshole to someone. obviously, i don't care how they treat me; or if it's badly, i'm not surprised.

i do believe that sometimes we are compelled to do something without knowing the reason, but it's later revealed. many times i know why. i knew, when i drove to New Haven during one of the worst storms since the early 1900's simply to celebrate his birthday, what i was doing. i knew i was doing it so he'd know that he mattered to me. of course, i didn't know we'd fight most of the night, but that's not really a surprise for us. tonight, however, i knew i wanted to hang out with Kerry, but i'm going to see him tomorrow, too. so, it wasn't just him that was driving me to venture out in this shit. the answer came as i was leaving.

i earlier bought a little shovel to leave in my car. my last one broke and it hasn't snowed a whole lot, so i never replaced it. with the weather at my door, i figured now would be a good time. i bought the last one at Wal-Mart this afternoon, as the snow started coming down. tonight, i helped dig two guys that were totally fucked out. the second guy had some people pushing, but it was packed all around his tires and their pushes were of almost no use. the guy before, though, was the reason i came out. i was leaving the bar and he was all kinds of jacked up. i tried to push his car out as he backed up, that only got him stuck more. so, i went to my car and drove back to help dig him out. it took us about 15 min. to do it, but he eventually made it.

as i was leaving, he thanked me and asked me if i wanted a couple of bucks. i asked him why. i told him to not worry about it and that we were all in this mess together. as soon as he was out, 30 ft. away the second guy was caught up. so, i handed my shovel to the guys while i parked my car. they had him out by the time i got there.

i think these are the moments that are important. it's not just about sending it up to the ether to come back to you or someone you love. although, it is comforting to know that somewhere in VT someone is helping him [sorry, i have no idea why he's on my mind so much tonight]. more than that, though, it's important to connect with people. living up here is a very lonely experience. i think the one thing i miss the most is touch. not in a sexual way, but just the sense on touch. being comfortable and close enough to someone to allow them and be allowed to touch them is everything. it's also important for me to being able to effect someone's life and shine a little light --no matter how brief-- onto them. small things make the difference.

to me, tonight was 30 minutes out of my life. to them it was being able to get home safely. it took almost nothing from me to make a huge difference to someone else.

so, maybe i'm a lunatic for even venturing out in the snowy mess, but someone's home right now because of it. that kind of crazy i'm comfortable with.

seriously, enough

i'm all for cultural sensitivity. i'm...actually, not really into political correctness. i think it stymies almost every creative outlet out there, because it doesn't stop you from feeling, it just stops you from saying it, and creative expression is all about the inside coming out. not everyone's going to like it, but you shouldn't be concerned with what other people will say...unless-- in these modern times-- those people have lawyers and will ruin you. so, no, not a big proponent of political correctness.

erin and i went to see 300 last night. ah, it was awesome. lots of hot, determined, violent, sweaty men. there was no weak link in those 300, either. even the old dudes were ripped. it was a bit melodramtic, but it was a visually beautiful movie. the Spartans were smartasses until the very end. if ever there was a movie right up my alley... i think the only thing missing was a car chase scene.

anyway, so i dug it. i woke up this morning to this article.

oh, would you just shut the fuck up. of course it portrayed Persians in a bad light. it's a movie about 300 Spartans fighting the entire Persian empire for freedom...told from the point of view of the Spartans. were they supposed to sympathize with them? generally, in the retelling of wars --and in wars, themselves-- there are good guys and there are bad guys. usually, the side telling the story is the good side.

for fuck's sake, it based off of Frank Miller's 1999 graphic novel, well before the war.

and now, for a few responses:

"Already, I have spoken with many of my friends whose only knowledge of the history of the Persian empire and the Persian wars has been formed by this movie," Yousefi said, "and who vehemently believe that the movie is historically accurate."

then, your friends are dumbasses and should do some independent reading.

Iranian-based Taliya News slammed 300 as a "hateful movie" and a cog in the "U.S. propaganda machine."

really? because the last time i checked, Spratans were Greek.

He finds 300's depiction of the Spartans to be accurate; he finds its depiction of the Persians to be "irresponsible."

here's a thought: it was told from the Spartan perception of what they encountered, not how they actually looked. the best example is when they started fighting against some Chinese looking dudes who had hand bombs and the storyteller refered to them as "fighting with magic." not exactly historically accurate.

if we are to believe everything we saw, Xerxes was about 10 feet tall and most of the creatures they fought against would shock Barnum himself.

plus, if we were to believe everything we saw in the movies, Wesley Snipes is a vampire, George Clooney's a con artist, and Nicholas Cage is attractive.

it's all bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

abuse

at a time when the abuse of president and his government agencies are rampant and extensive, it's hard to shock me. don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm not outraged, it's just that my mind has been boggled for so long as to how it's been allowed to happen that nothing surprises me anymore. it's clear that the current administration is a self-serving, dangerous political regime. at this point, their lies don't even try to justify the means.

at first, i was quick to take a look around me and wonder why there weren't abounding marches in the streets and why it seemed that my fellow americans were ok with this. there were a couple of flaws with my criticism: 1) i wasn't marching in the streets, so it's hard to throw stones when i'm living in a glass house, but more than that, i firmly believe that 2) people weren't ok with it, they not only, initially, trusted the president --which you should until he proves himself to unworthy-- but once it became clear he was a true believer of his own rhetoric, the people trusted the elected officially who were supposed to be their voice to the president. the members of congress did not stagger their way into their offices. they campaigned. they assured their constituents that they, not their opponent, would act in their best interest, be their voice, and reflect their will. that's why we have congress, so we don't have to take to the streets when parts of our government start fucking up. we can protest, if we want, but it shouldn't be initially necessary. now, when it's clear that the checks and balances of government are failing, then, i think we are obligated to protest and fiercely.

i think if we protested at every sticky point, we'd lose effect. case in point: Rev. Al Sharpton. now, i respect Al, but there are a great number of times he just needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. i appreciate him being the sounding alarm of gov't misdeeds, but when all you do is squawk, people stop paying attention. you lose you effectiveness when everything is an issue, nothing is an issue. it's also hard to take someone seriously who doesn't seem to prioritize his concerns. he's like an hysterical grandmother who freaks out in equal measure at mismatched socks and house fires. even when grandma is legitimately warning you against growing smoke in the house, no one's listening because...she's just being grandma. now, if grandma picked and chose her hysteric battles, we wouldn't be casualties on the nightly news. that's Al Sharpton. even when he's valid he's a joke. but i digress.

times seem to be reaching critical mass: in politics, in entertainment, in personal relationships, and it all seems ready to implode. few employ reason. even fewer yield. the concept of compromise has all but gone the way of the dinosaurs. sadly, treachery and subterfuge are not only commonplace, but have come to be expected. still, i'm a insufferable optimist and/or a fool --in which case you should recognize it and still love me. so, even in the worst of times, i can still be floored.

i read this article slack jawed. it's not that i didn't believe it was happening, it's the nerve...and quite frankly the sloppiness in getting caught. if anyone should be able to cover their tracks --aside from the CIA-- it should be the FBI. that's just embarrassing.

US Airways

if you can at all avoid it, certainly avoid US Airways! these dipshits lost my luggage coming and going to St. Louis this past weekend. i took these pics during my 20min. wait just to talk to the lost luggage people monday morning.

everytime i've taken this airline i've either missed my connecting flight, almost missed it, or had my bags lost. the bad thing is that half the time i almost miss my flights it's not because the layover is short. it's because they're always late. this particular flight, though, i had a layover in Philly and, i shit you not, my arrival gate and departure gate were right next to each other. these guys could've literally rolled my bag 30 ft to my next plane. we also got there early from St. Louis, so they had 20 extra scheduled minutes to get it on the plane. we ended up leaving 30-40min. late because a couple of connecting flights and they --again, i shit you not-- were waiting for some luggage.

really?

so, my flight was supposed to get into Bradley at 12:30pm and i had to be at work at 2:30pm. we didn't get there until just after one. i didn't speak with the lost luggage guy until 1:40pm and we didn't get the paperwork sorted out until 1:50pm. i'm so pissed off at this point that i'm crying. actually, that's not true. when i first realized my luggage was lost again, i was crying. as i'm waiting, i ask a baggage guy if there was another person to help this guy --who'd been with one customer for 15min since i'd been there. he actually said i could go upstairs to the check-in desk and "if they were in the mood to help" me they would. to which i responded, "i paid $400 for this ticket, they'd better get in the mood." please, i wish someone would tell me they didn't feel like helping me.

by the time i got to the guy, i was a freakish and intense calm. i asked him for a phone to call my boss, but he said his phone didn't call long distance. really? so, i was directed to the airport information booth where they directed me to a pay phone. you got me fucked up if you think i'm going to pay for this call. i did my part to get myself to work on time. these are the dipshits who managed to fuck up 2 hours of leeway time. i decided i was going to go upstairs to the check-in counter and make the phone call there. this guy standing at the info booth tells me to calm down and hands me his cell phone. i told him that i really wanted US Air to pay for the call. he talks me down a bit and i call work from his phone.

so, there i am at Bradley International at 2pm waiting for the shuttle bus to get me to my car, to then drive 45min., take a shower, and get to work...work, i should've been at by 2:30pm. not to mention, this weekend i worked off of the least amount of sleep legally possible. i think the only people who go less sleep than me were sleep deprivation subjects.

on the plus side, i had a good weekend. i got to see almost my entire family (except for Sloan, Larry, and Aasim), which was really refreshing for me. it's kinda cool to see the fusing of my otherwise splintered family.

kinda makes me want to move back home.

crazy person

i feel like a crazy person right now. it's 12:20am and i have an 8am flight out of Hartford and it's snowing right now. i still have to pack and my apartment's a mess. i'm hopped up on caffeine and have a bazillion things running around in my increasingly unfocused head. i'm flying out to for my sister's baby shower and have to figure out how to accomplish her shower planning and attendance, my niece's birthday party 2 hours away, seeing my friends, and not neglecting my mom all in the course of three days. lots and lots of lattes.

i've recently discovered a strange and contradictory thing about myself: i don't really like to fly. i *love* to travel, but i don't really like to fly. i don't like pissing the better part of my days in lines, the soft core violations of security checks, and simply don't like the feeling of flying. when i fly, i only drink ginger ale, because i constantly feel like vomiting. isn't that weird? isn't that the exact wrong thing to hate when you travel as much as me? how fucked up am i?

i've also decided not to sweat demanding people. i've found that when i come home to MO everyone is demanding of my time. i appreciate that people want to see me, but i never have more than a few days, at best, and everyone wants that time. generally, i usually only want to see Andrea and my mom when i'm in MO, but so many other people are pulling on me. i've decided: fuck 'em. if you want concentrated time with me, you get on a plane and come see me. i live alone and you'd have my undivided attention. you can't possibly be mad at me for not spending more time when i'm the only one moving. it's like someone getting mad because you don't call. fuck that, phones work both ways. the only person who has an right to me is mom, because 1) she gave birth to me and 2) she's my mom. that's never a problem, because i like hanging out with my mom.

oh, man, i am procrastinating. i'm in the age old dilemma of whether or not to sleep. i don't want to over sleep, since i have to be up in about 5 hours. the snow now complicates things. i am so fucking tired though. i think i'm going to pack my shit up, listen to some more Damien Rice, and try to clean up a bit and see how i feel in about 2 hours.

lame. so fucking lame. the snow is coming down steady and hard. if snow was a man, i'd know what to do with my time. as it is, it's just wack. i really hope this doesn't delay my trip.